Oh gosh where do I even start?
I feel like I just need a catch up, a chat with old pals, a brain dump of sorts.
The whole of February I've had a blog schedule and every night I have gone to type and just written what I wanted.
I know I wrote a post last week about how I have no time to blog and that's still true, I don't have the time at the moment to research and put together a big cohesive blog post, I just have time for a quick post where I type what I want and just publish there and then.
My blog schedule this month included material on my bullet journal which isn't finished. It includes material on blogging as a job and I don't have the time to research. It includes material on millennials and I don't have the time to photograph for it.
And I just feel worn out.
What've I been up to? Nothing and everything at the same time.
Nothing of importance or significance or note worthy or worth telling a story about but just all that kinda life admin that needs doing. It's all the birthdays and IKEA trips and painting of ceilings and unpacking boxes and babysitting and shopping and dog walking and working that is essential to life, but lately, the last few weeks I feel like it just hasn't stopped.
My head is just full.
I don't even have enough time to write a proper to do list, I scribble shopping lists on my phone and I am just furiously trying to remember everything else. I am a classic case of last minute panic at the moment, everything is just done 5 minutes before it needs to be in the biggest state of OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT.
I used to be organised. I used to have lists and spreadsheets and plans. I never used to forget things, I was on schedule with my filing, my blog had actual meaning.
And this was only before Christmas.
Since Christmas I haven't sat still. I have a routine every week and I haven't actually slotted back into it since the New Year. It's like the world went nah she doesn't need a break. Hence I was poorly for the first 3 weeks of the year.
Every day I plan 'right I'm going to JUST do work today', ya know, that freelance thing I do that I make my money from? I haven't JUST worked since December on a single day. Not one.
Something, anything, everything just crops up. My Mum asks me to do the food shop, I do a favour for someone, the freezer breaks down, family turn up, the car needs to go to the garage. Just life getting in the way.
My business paperwork is all ready for filing next to me as I type this. The oldest date on it is December 12th 2016. I haven't had the time to stop, sort it out and just pack it away and I KNOW it'll now be like a 4 hour task so I keep putting it off because I know I don't have the time. Hence the problem.
And now, work is picking back up again. There's always a slump in January when people don't want to part with their cash when they're so skint so now work is picking up again and after the success of Valentine's Day cards, commissions are coming in again. I did some actual drawing for the first time in about a month last week and as an illustrator, that's saying something.
I like being busy with work, obviously it's so much nicer than being dead quiet and worrying about bills but obviously with a busy time working when your life is already busy - I barely have time to think.
I feel like it's all just a bit hectic at the moment, no time to think let alone do anything, hells bells imagine doing something for myself like reading a chapter of my book? Unthinkable at the moment, I just fall into bed asleep. I know I'm run down and I know I'm sleep deprived and all the same, I don't have a lie in, I get up and grind on with life.
What I need is a fortnight to myself, home alone with no responsibilities or any other jobs to do. Nobody to cater for except me (soz Joss). I need time to get the house sorted, get all my work done, get my finances done, have a sort out and spring clean of my office, finish the layouts in my 2017 BuJo so I can actually use it to get organised....
I appreciate this post is just more of the same 'I'm too busy to blog', in a slightly more ranty format but sometimes it's just good to get words down on paper (laptop? screen?). Maybe in March I'll get back in my blogging groove. Here's hoping!
How do you cope when you WANT to blog but life just gets in the way?