Things I Text My Dad In The Past Fortnight.


Back in May I wrote a piece called 'Things I Text My Mum In The Past Fortnight', it was a simple idea - a series of texts I'd sent to my Mumma completely out of context. 

And you little lot bloody loved it. 

(In fact, Bethany loved it so much she wrote one of her own here).

So I thought I'd come back with another post along the same lines today; but this time, things I text my Dad...


'There's a bowl with a piece of beef in it'

'Seen where the G20 met today?'

'I would say enjoy your day in work but it sounds like hell'

'I'm getting your texts really weird'


'He looks ill'

'Star chips please'

'You're in luck, I didn't bother telling you'

'Are we travelling back Thursday or Friday night?'


'Potatoes now please'

'At least you made it to space this time'

'See, chaos when me and Mum aren't there'

'Yeah I do, Gaz doesn't'


'Please don't leave without me I'm filling in forms I'll be 10 minutes'

'BBC Wales is that Jason thing' 

'Enjoy Foo' 

'Joss has watched Thor, Guardians of the Galaxy and Hunger Games' 


'It was two old ladies, Alexander and Richard were very diplomatic with them'

'I'm going to play it safe with New Zealand - I nearly spat my drink out'

'No, just the phone thinking I'm cleverer than I am' 

'Mum said she might be giving me an extra 26 quid did she save her mind?'

'He's going to sleep in the spare room' 

'I don't want bread thanks' 

'Noel's sandwich was incredible'

'Disaster - left my sugar mouse at home' 



'Oh god don't get him started again' 

'Bob will be amazing'

'Golf! Football!'

'I hope Morello is in the lineup'

'He got out before he burst into flames' 

'Games cupboard?'

'I haven't eaten anything so tea is first on the agenda'

'Watch out for blinding nuts'